Things I hate about you based off your Star Sign

I have friends in every zodiac sign and I love you all! This is just a joke and something to not take seriously! 

ARIES: 

The world isn’t your servant, get over yourself you melodramatic, moody and hella judgmental loner. You think you can lash out at anyone who doesn’t do what you say or ask…but that’s how life works honey boo, you don’t always get your way. You think you’re so much better than everybody else (which is kinda true) but you don’t have to look down on us like we’re peasants. Ugh this sign can be really talkative over social media but in real life they probably won’t talk to you as much. You Aries people are so in love with yourself and if you ever get into a fight with someone you’ll never admit you’re wrong. Pretty much, if you’re opinionated..an Aries will hate you because you’re wrong and they’re right (in their minds atleast!). 

TAURUS:

You guys really gets on my tits. This sign can make you feel like shit, they act like they have the only opinion that matters.  Theres stubborn and then there’s a Taurus. You know those bratty annoying 6 year olds that you see crying in the barbie aisle at the stores..yep that’s what you Taurus people are like..well that’s what you remind me of anyway. You tauruses don’t know how to hold a conversation when you’re bored, that’s like a basic social skill that everybody knows…except you. All you guys care about is soft desserts and your outfits.

GEMINI: 

Can you guys just shut the f*** up, like seriously you’re not a celebrity and no one really likes you anyway. You’re just hella loud and obnoxious and you always need to add your 10 cents to every conversation. You guys have 3573 different personalities. You know that new movie coming out “SPLIT” yeah that’s probably written by a Gemini. You guys are so manipulative and everything bad that happens to you is probably your own fault so stop acting like you’re perfect. You guys are such big liars. You guys cheat your way through life and somehow end up getting all the credit for something you never really do. You guys always feel like you need to look good all the time, like who the hell are you even trying to impress…oh wait…yourselves. Gotcha. 

CANCER:

okay, any cancers reading this..grab some tissues before you start crying about how mean this is and how mean your parents are and how tough your life is. I can go ham on this sign because you’re just so easy. You just let everybody use you and then when they’re done with you and your friendship (which you probably screwed up) you act like you’re the victim. Also, just because you’re pretty doesn’t mean you get to hoe around. Cancer girls are literally one of the biggest hoes I know (I mean you do you honey boo, bigger da hoop bigger da hoe) but seriously you guys just need to chill the f*** out. Oh and stop with the whole “my life is so hard”, “why does this always happen to me”..ill tell you right now why it always happens to you, its because you’re weak and you don’t know how to say no to the people who you think love you. 

LEO: 

Go take another selfie and cry about how your crush didn’t like your Instagram photo or how they only watched half of your snapchat story. You guys are so vain and self absorbed to the point it’s painful to be around you. If you’re gonna be near a Leo be prepared to listen, don’t even breathe just listen. I mean if you don’t breathe you’ll end up dead right? And that sounds better than having to be around a self obsessed Leo. You guys may have the most friends but deep down we all know how lonely you are. You guys will do almost anything to be the center of attention. The guys under this sign need to chill out, go punch another wall  and drink another million bottles of gin while you’re at it. 

VIRGO: 

If you tell me one more time that I have too many split ends or that my outfit makes me look fob and ugly or that I need to lose weight or I need to make my bed properly or if I should really change my bedsheets every week or if I should watch cartoons and watch anime then go f*** yourself. I mean there’s only so much criticism one can take. You guys love dishing out the flaws in other people but have you even looked at yourself? Your a bigger mess than me mate. Yeah you guys are beautiful and yeah you guys are smart but that doesn’t mean we aren’t. You guys just think you’re above everybody and that your way is the right way. Well listen up buddy wink, your way is leading me straight to bed because I’d rather be sleeping than be surrounded by you and your organised & boring life. 

LIBRA: 

You guys just cannot stand to see someone do better than you, I mean it’s called being happy for someone else’s success. You guys are the copy cats the ones who want to be noticed but never really do…that’s because you guys are so bloody desperate for attention to the point it looks sad and pathetic. You Libras can be pretty rude too, if you don’t like someone you don’t have to tell them by the expression on your face. Just do what Scorpios do and smile to their faces and then talk behind their backs. Y’all are so materialistic too, and you can never save your money because you’re so weak and useless (lol me). 

SCORPIO: 

If I die after this..it’s because a Scorpio read this and murdered me. You guys are the pure definition of evil. You guys literally make me so pissed off. Always thinking about money, money and money. You scorpios have the loudest mouths and the biggest opinions. You think you have a lot of friends but in reality you don’t have much and the ones you do have are either hanging around with you because they’re intimidated by you. You guys should be called snakes instead of scorpios. Oh and can you stop being so bitchy and rude to people. You’re not the boss and you’re definitely not telling me what I should and should not be doing unless you really are my boss at work or something then it’s cool and we’re  Gucci but still f*** you.

 

SAGGITARIUS:

I REALLY  don’t like you guys. Everything  has to be about you and if it’s not.. you just zone out and give zero f***s..but I’m sorry that’s not how friendship works you have to take some and you have to give some, but with you guys it’s always take take take. How about you take a travel bag and f*** off to America or Antarctica.. The two perfect places for people with stone cold hearts. You guys think you’re cool but really..everybody feels sorry for you, I mean you might have been popular at school but seriously look at you now..you’re a lonely depressed loser that only stays relevant through commenting on friends profile pictures.  I mean..there’s not much I can say about you guys because everything you do annoys me so yeah go f*** yourself. 

CAPRICORN: 

You all get so worked  up over the most smallest things. You think you’re the most hardworking person in the world but you’re not. Yeah you do a lot but so do others!  You guys are hella boring and you always need to be on the top or build your way up. It’s hard for me to hate you guys because you guys beat me to it, you’re always hard on yourself. You guys are messed up, I mean when you’re young you act like you’re old and when you’re old you act like you’re young..like no Barbara you can’t pull off an off the shoulder dress at 73.   You guys are shady AF and you guys are stuck in routine, you do the same damn thing everyday. 

AQUARIUS: 

You guys think you’re so special and you end up loving people who don’t love you back and you kinda just drop the ball on the people who actually do  love you. You guys are really insecure and any compliment you get goes straight to your head. You don’t really have many friends and most people think you’re a liar. You’re just a scared person who ends up hurting people who try to get close to you. I mean you’re so aloof to the point it hurts. Writing about you is hurting my brain.

PISCES: 

This sign is boring and annoying and should go cry and listen to some music. I’m done. 

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